Those who have made it in life have gone through the pain of asking themselves questions about what they really want in life. If you don’t asked questions, you would not be able to understand certain basic truths about what you are actually looking for.
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For you to be happy in life, you must choose your life partner carefully. If you fail to do the right thing at the right time, you may end up lamenting for life. In this article, we shall look at the top 7 questions you must ask yourself before choosing your life partner and the dangerous effects of choosing a wrong partner.
- Can you talk to your partner freely?
Your life partner should be someone you can feel free with. It is important to select the person with whom you can initiate a conversation anytime. That is someone you wouldn’t need any protocol to talk to. This is very essential as it helps you avoid boredom, improves intimacy and fortify the love bond between you and your partner. It is necessary to get to know the feelings and responses of the other person about your actions and way of doing things from time to time so that if there is any problem, you quickly handle it before it gets out of hand.
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2. Do both of you have anything in common?
Before making your choice of a life partner, ensure that both of you have certain things in common. Remember the adage that says ‘ Birds of the same feather flock together’’ . If you select the person that doesn’t share anything in common with you, it would give you problems in future as your compatibility rate would likely be below standard. It is nearly impossible to find someone who share all your interests. At least there should be a few things that you both would love doing together as a couple. For example, if you love outing, it is good to choose someone with a liking for outing which will keep both of you engaged for hours with your common passion. Such a choice will add more colors to your life and make your relationship more exciting.
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3. Have you considered the intellectual ability of your partner?
Most marriages have failed because of variation in the intellectual abilities of the bride and the groom. If a low achieving man marries a high achieving wife, there would be a high probability that the marriage would face a threat of incompatibility and may eventually lead to a bad breakup. Both partners must be intellectually balance so as to be able to establish eye to eye contact and discuss about the different life issues. To be intellectually balance does not necessary mean that you must both have the same level of education, but that both of you should acquire a certain level of education that can permit you interact without stressing up each other.Such a possibility would enhance a better understanding and help both partners pull on with life smoothly.
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4. Do both of you have the same standard?
It is however important for both partners to always consider their individual standards before making a choice of a life partner. You must find out if your standard matches with that of your would be partner before moving into marriage. It is never a taboo to consider the standards of the family before making arrangements for marriage. Although there is nothing wrong in choosing someone from a different stratum of the society, you can’t be adventurous in selecting a partner who is completely off the mark which might negatively impact your compatibility and harmony in the nearest future. But then what does it mean to be compatible?
5. Do both of you have respect for each other?
It is very important to find out if the person you are about to select as your life partner actually has respect for you and cherish you. It is not an easy thing for you to spend your life with someone who doesn’t have respect for you, your personality, your goals, likes and preferences in life. It is however very important to choose someone who cares about your likes and is able to acknowledge you for the rest of your life. Such a person would be a perfect choice for you.
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6. Is your potential partner trust worthy?
There is no relationship that can bear fruits without an element of trust. It is important to choose someone trust worthy and dependable. Someone you have confidence in that cannot hurt you so easily. It is absolutely not possible to live a happy life with someone who is not worthy of your trust. Trust is one of the key elements that every aspiring couple should endeavor to have. Without trust or faith in each other, marriage would end up as a failure. If interested visit this post for more details.
7. Do you enjoy spending time together?
An investigation to find out if both of you find pleasure spending time together is always very important. It is always important to look for someone who is comfortable spending time with you. That is someone who enjoys your company and you enjoy his. Someone who would always feel incomplete without you and would not want to spend a second of his time without you. Or someone who would keep missing you and would never stop admiring you.
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Dangerous Effects of Choosing a Wrong Partner
One of the most dangerous mistakes that people make in life and end up lamenting is that of choosing a wrong life partner. Choosing the life partner to spend the rest of your life requires diligent and inspiration from God. We may be able to judge people from their physical appearance but only God alone knows the heart. That is why we need the grace of God in choosing our life partner. It takes the grace of God for us to be able to distinguish between a fake and real suitor. It is advisable to always invite the Holy spirit to guide us in our search for a life partner. I have tested this method and seen that it works. It has work for others and so it would surely work for you.
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Before ever saying a big “yes i will marry you” make sure you have asked yourself the above seven questions and found tangible answers to them. If you neglect them and rush into a marital home because you want to achieve the dream of having a family, or because you want to be looked upon as a married person, you would surely end up regretting. While your friends who took their time and selected the right life partner will be enjoying marriage, you would be enduring it. That is not the plan of God in Your life. Before you think of getting married make sure you answer this question: What is God’s plan for your marriage? The plan of God for you is good and perfect. Jeremiah 29:11 ” For i know the thoughts that i think towards you, saith the lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end”. It is the will of God that you enjoy your marriage.
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To be in a lifelong relationship with someone is a great commitment. As a consequence, you need a lot of caution. People need to be extremely selective about the people they want to let into their life. This is because the consequences of choosing the wrong partner are so devastating. Some of which are as listed below:
No one has ever prayed to have a disappointment in marriage yet disappoint comes. If you rush into marriage without taking time to study the person you are getting married to , you are likely to discover things you never expected from him or her when you have gone too far. Such unexpected behavior may be heart breaking and difficult to manage. For example we have had a testimony of a lady that met a young rich and handsome guy and after acquainting themselves they felt in love with each other. After few months of their relationship, the guy proposed to her. Since the guy was rich and handsome, she quickly accepted. and was very happy. This lady was very anxious to move to the rank of “Madam X” as most of her friends were married. She needed to meet up with her friends. She never had the time to study the man. They got married few months after they met each each other. Few months later the lady discovered that the man eats his own excreta. She surprise him one day in the toilet when she was pressed and when she pushed the door of the toilet she found the husband eating his own excreta. This negatively affected her affection for him. She felt very disappointed. She wish she were not married before. All these regrets were as a result of the fact that she never took her time to study the man enough or ask God to reveal the man to her. Enough research about the person you want to marry would help reduce your chances of developing heart attack. You may also be interested in: Why Do Good Women Pick the Wrong Men?
Secondly if you marry the wrong person you are likely to experience heart break because he or she would likely manifest some behaviors different from what you were expecting.
2.Shame and regret
Marriage is honorable when the couple is a perfect match. If you marry the right person you will enjoy the good of marriage but if you marry the wrong person, you will feel that marriage is a place of suffering. Everything depends on the way you prepare for the marriage. If you prepare well by taking time to study the person you are interested in, you would not end up in shame and regret. This is because you would be able to discover the person’s bad habits and if they are such that you cannot manage, you can decide and quit the relationship while it is still early. However, every body has good and bad habits. The problem here is that there are habits that some people can tolerate while others would not. So if you marry someone that cannot manage your strength and weaknesses, there would be a problem. The best way is to find someone whose way of life matches with yours so that you don’t end up in shame and regret, you must not be perfect in character.
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3.Loss of money and assets
People fall in love for diverse reasons. Some fall in love because of economic security. If you are not careful you would end up spending your financial resources on strangers in the name of love. Many men and women have been financially and materially exploited all because of love and most often fake love. In the society today it is common to hear men and women complaining that their fiance has exploited them financially and abandoned them.
Learn to do your research about those who come telling you they love you and want to marry you. Are they really serious? Don’t rush. If a man comes to you and propose to marry you and before long you see him rushing to pay your bride price fast. Everything “fast-fast”. Be careful he may be trying to hide something from you. If a man refuses to give you time to meditate over his proposal to marry you let him go. You are not desperate yet. Where there is life there is hope. You must know that dating is different from marriage. You can date any body but you cannot marry any body.
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4.Danger of contacting sexually transmissible diseases
When you marry a wrong person, you expose yourself to sexually transmissible diseases. This is because you may not be emotionally connected to each other due to lack of compatibility. If your partner is unfaithful or does’t satisfy you sexually, you would be tempted to cheat and as a consequence would expose yourself to sexually transmissible diseases if care is not taken. Loneliness in marriage is very bad. No one ever went to marriage with the plan to cheat on the partner. It is usually because of changes in circumstances that push couples to cheat on their partners. When you are not able to get what you expected from your partner, you start looking for alternative sources just to satisfy yourself. Such sources may be illegal and consequently expose you to problems.
Man is a sexual being. There are people who cannot control their sexual urge. Some people are more sexually active than others. If you rush into a relationship and marries a woman that is sexually weak or doesn’t enjoy lengthy sex and you cannot control your feeling, you will end up cheating just to cover the gap. If you discovered such a problem early, you could change your mind and avoid it. Sexual incompatibility is one of the main causes of infidelity in marriage especially when the weak partner is not willing to learn or make improvement.
The above guided questions are very essential when it comes to choosing your life partner. These questions if carefully answered would help you not to make mistakes in selecting your life partner. If you make a mistake in choosing your life partner, you would be bound to endure marriage instead of enjoying it.