We have observed that the practice of falling in love and falling out of love has become frequent in our society today. This habit is partly because of hasty decision or lack of patients in relationship. For what ever reason this may be, I believe that love is a blessing from God. Sometime breakup becomes the only way to regain peace when a relationship fails to meet its objectives, but it is usually painful to say good bye especially if one of the partners is still interested in the relationship or when the relationship had gone far and involved children. Such issues usually disturbs the couple and cause them not to give attention to other issues of life.
In this article we shall look at the steps you can take to survive a breakup all alone and some basic truths about relationships. If you are passing through breakup pains and really want to regain your peace then go through this post. The following advice would help you to deal and get over that breakup that is giving you sleepless nights.
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There is a saying that “time heals all”. In retrospect, it just takes time to heal. But healing can’t begin to take place without “closure”. What is closure? Closure is the sealing of the emotional wound that has been opened by the breakup. It doesn’t matter why you fell out. It can be either small or a major thing. Big things can damage the foundation of a relationship. While little things can build up over time and cripple the relationship. We all know that a small leak can sink a big ship over time. Closure helps a person get over what happened. It doesn’t matter who did wrong or who got the short end of the stick. All that matters is healing once the damage has been done.
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Here are some key steps to get the healing process started:
- Take some time away from your ex: This is crucial to the healing process. No matter how much you want to text, email or talk to your ex, don’t. Take a week or so and cool off. Step back from the relationship and take a look at the big picture. You don’t have to make any heavy decisions right now, just take a break.
- Accept what has happened during your break time: This is the main purpose of taking the break. Embrace the breakup. You do not need to uphold it or agree with it, but just accept it.
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For instance, if a drinking glass falls to the floor and breaks into a hundred pieces, you would not stand there in denial about it. You can clearly see the broken glass. You saw it hit the floor and you heard it shatter. You don’t have to call a friend to ask what he or she thinks about it, right? Of course not. You would immediately accept that the glass fell and broke and you would do what next? Clean it up. Once it’s cleaned up, you would get another glass and move on with your day. Maybe it was your favorite glass or maybe it was a gift. Either way, it is broken and all you can do is clean it up and get another glass. Well, now imagine if that drinking glass represented your heart. When your heart is broken, you have to accept it and then clean it up. Once it is cleaned up, you will have a new heart to move forward with.
3. After the acceptance phase, you have to forgive yourself for your past mistakes during the relationship (even if you weren’t the one that caused the most hurt) and then you have to forgive your ex.
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4. So now you have taken a little time to yourself, you have accepted the events that have occurred, you have forgiven yourself and your ex. So now what? Now you must write. Oh yes… Journal time!
Whether you make a blog or write in a small memo pad, it doesn’t matter. The point is for you to get your feelings out. Write your ex a letter stating how you feel. Write down your feelings exactly as they are and read them aloud. This is a therapeutic process.
5. Here is the catch, burn the letter or shred it and throw it away after you’re done with it. DO NOT SEND IT TO YOUR EX. It will not prove anything. The written portion of this exercise is just for your eyes only. Reading it out loud puts your feelings out into the universe and allows you to release that negative energy. It truly works and you will feel a lot better.
6. After you have done steps 1-5, it is time to get busy. Start working out. Join that big gym that you always drive past and meet new people. Opt for a midnight cake delivery chennai service even and treat yourself. Go to concerts or even on a date or two. It does not have to be serious. You can actually just treat a good friend to dinner and a movie. The options are limitless but the important part is to take opportunities to get out and about.
After awhile, you will start to feel your confidence come back. The pain may not be completely gone after the first few weeks or so but it will definitely be manageable. Nobody likes a sad and miserable person. The more you can smile and feel good about yourself , the more people will be attracted to you. Keeping a clear head during this process as it is critical for you to begin healing.
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Some basic truths about relationships
The following expert ideas about love and relationship would not only pave the way for your healing but would help you gain confidence in yourself and go on with your life again. Relationship break up is like “ a fall”. When you fall, you must not remain on the ground. You must make quality effort to rise again. To get more inspiration about the mystery of love and relationship, read the following:
- “Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it is better to leave them broken than trying to hurt yourself putting it back together”. Not all relationships can be mended.
- “Your relationship with yourself sets the tone for every other relationship you have”. – Robert Holden. That is you must love yourself first before loving some one else. Rupaul said “If you don’t love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else? Talk less of hurting yourself because of a broken relationship. Where there is life there is hope.
- “ Some people think that it’s holding on that makes one strong; sometimes it’s letting go.” You must be able to make value judgment before taking a decision as to whether to stay or quit a relationship.
- “ Don’t change yourself so that other people will like you. Be yourself, and the right people will like you”. This is because only those who love you for who you are actually love you. Only those whose who have seen all your weaknesses and still say you are amazing truly love you and can make you happy, not those that go about looking for faults to use against you. True love doesn’t take a record of wrongs.
- “Never love anybody who treats you like you’re ordinary” – Oscar wilde. When true love is in place, you don’t look ordinary anymore to your partner. If your partner sees as an ordinary person, it is a sign that he or she doesn’t truly love you.
- “ No girl should ever forget that she doesn’t need anyone who doesn’t need her” – Unknown
- “ Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together”. – Marilyn Monroe. Everything that happens in your life is for a purpose, it must not always be for evil intention. It is an opportunity for you to correct your past errors.
- “Breakups hurt, but losing someone who doesn’t respect and appreciate you is actually a gain, not a loss” – Unknown. That is to say, sometimes a disappointment is a blessing.
- “Remember that sometimes not getting what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck” – says Dalai Lama. Your best is yet to come.
- “ No relationship is ever a waste of your time. If it didn’t bring you what you want, it taught you what you don’t want”. Unknown. Meaning that every thing that happens to your life, be it bad or good is for your own. According to Kris Menace, “Stars can’t shine without darkness”
- .” The woman who does not require validation from anyone is the most feared individual on the planet”. This is because she doesn’t expect her joy to come from someone else, but herself. With such a mind set, you would hardly be disappointed.
- .” We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us” Says Joseph Campbell. The life we might have planned for ourselves may not be the best but the one waiting for us as planned by God.
- .” You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading the last one”. You must let go of the past so as to begin a new future.
- .” Love is unconditional. Relationships are not”. Where you in love or in a relationship before the breakup? Know that it’s time to look forward for love because if you were in love, you would not have been suffering this way. Love does not fail but relationship does.
- .” Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing you to be their option”. Says Mark Twain. You should always give value to them that value you as well.
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We believe that the above ideas would help you to suppress breakup pain to a minimal level. There is no problem without a solution. There is no great person in the world that has not passed through hard time or challenges. Challenges in life are not to stop you from moving forward, but to give you vital lessons that you need to move forward. Anytime you have life challenges, don’t meditate more on the problem itself because that will only cause you more pain, but meditate more on the lesson you have learned from the problem. This will help you improve on your life.
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